Mountaineer Premium Cannabis

Almost heaven, definitely imaginary

⚠️ This brand does not exist.

Named for West Virginia's proud mountaineer spirit, this fictional cannabis brand climbs every imaginary peak with enthusiasm.

Flower

Products by Mountaineer Premium Cannabis

Mountaineer OG Kush

Mountaineer OG Kush

Flower / Indica

THC 22.0%

$45.00 / 1/8 oz

Classic OG Kush with Mountaineer grit. Let's go, fictional Mountaineers — thi...

by Mountaineer Premium Cannabis

Mountaineer Northern Lights

Mountaineer Northern Lights

Flower / Indica

THC 21.5%

$45.00 / 1/8 oz

Northern Lights over the WV mountains — fictional but beautiful. Mountaineer ...

by Mountaineer Premium Cannabis

Mountaineer Premium Permanent Marker

Mountaineer Premium Permanent Marker

Flower / Hybrid

THC 27.0%

$56.00 / 1/8 oz

Permanently imaginary and indelibly fictional, Mountaineer Permanent Marker m...

by Mountaineer Premium Cannabis

Mountaineer Premium Lemon Haze

Mountaineer Premium Lemon Haze

Edibles / Gummies

THC 19.5%

$43.00 / 1/8 oz

Bright citrus-sativa fictional Lemon Haze from the Mountaineer collection. So...

by Mountaineer Premium Cannabis

Satire Ends Here

While the rest of this site is a joke, cannabis prohibition is not funny. Opiates and hard drugs are devastating communities. Cannabis is not the enemy. Here's how to take real action in West Virginia:

Advocacy Organizations

The nation's largest cannabis advocacy organization, working to reform marijuana laws since 1970.

Marijuana Policy Project National

The largest organization working to end marijuana prohibition in the US.

Contact Your US Senators

Federal legalization requires federal action. Tell your senators where you stand.

For state legislators, visit openstates.org — enter your address to find your representatives.

Other States Also Waiting for Legalization

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⚠️ SATIRE DISCLOSURE

This is a work of political satire. All store names, brand names, products, and events on this site are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real businesses is coincidental. No cannabis is sold here. This site exists to highlight the absurdity of prohibition and to connect people with real advocacy resources.

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