Martinsburg Shenandoah Valley Cannabis

⚠️ This dispensary does not exist.

Gateway to the Shenandoah Valley, Martinsburg's fictional cannabis shop imagines Blue Ridge legalization drifting west.

20 Fantasy Farm Road, Martinsburg, WV 25402

304-555-2020 (not a real number)

Mon-Sat 10am-9pm, Sun 11am-7pm (imaginary hours)

Products at This Fake Store

Appalachian Wild Berry Zkittlez Drops

Edibles / Gummies

THC 11.0%

$25.00 / 10pk gummies

Wild berry-flavored fictional Zkittlez drops foraged from the imaginary Appal...

by Appalachian Wild Berry Drops

Appalachian Trail Hiker Salve

Topicals / Salve

THC 11.0%

$38.00 / 1 oz salve

2,000-mile fictional salve for the AT hiker whose feet are more real than any...

by Appalachian Trail Salve

Appalachian Trail Cooling Salve

Topicals / Salve

THC 9.0%

$36.00 / 1 oz salve

Cooling fictional salve for the AT section of imaginary WV. Relieves blisters...

by Appalachian Trail Salve

Appalachian Slim Roll Strawberry Cough

Pre-rolled Joints / Regular

THC 18.5%

$11.00 / 1 pre-roll

Sweet fictional Strawberry Cough slim from the Appalachian ridgelines. Thin a...

by Appalachian Slim Roll Co.

Appalachian Outdoor Mimosa

Flower / Sativa

THC 22.0%

$48.00 / 1/8 oz

Outdoor fictional Mimosa from the Appalachian ridgelines. Citrus-bright like ...

by Appalachian Outdoor Cannabis

Appalachian Outdoor Tropicana Cookies

Flower / Sativa

THC 23.0%

$50.00 / 1/8 oz

Tropical citrus in the ancient mountains. Tropicana Cookies from the Appalach...

by Appalachian Outdoor Cannabis

Satire Ends Here

While the rest of this site is a joke, cannabis prohibition is not funny. Opiates and hard drugs are devastating communities. Cannabis is not the enemy. Here's how to take real action in West Virginia:

Advocacy Organizations

NORML National

The nation's largest cannabis advocacy organization, working to reform marijuana laws since 1970.

Marijuana Policy Project National

The largest organization working to end marijuana prohibition in the US.

Contact Your US Senators

Federal legalization requires federal action. Tell your senators where you stand.

For state legislators, visit openstates.org — enter your address to find your representatives.

⚠️ SATIRE DISCLOSURE

This is a work of political satire. All store names, brand names, products, and events on this site are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real businesses is coincidental. No cannabis is sold here. This site exists to highlight the absurdity of prohibition and to connect people with real advocacy resources.

Questions or concerns? Contact us

Martinsburg Shenandoah Valley Cannabis

Products at This Fake Store

Satire Ends Here

Advocacy Organizations

Contact Your US Senators

Other States Also Waiting for Legalization

FREE STATES — Where Adults Can Legally Enjoy Cannabis